Humbled by comparison

Last weekend I joined several women from our church for the annual women's retreat.  It was by far the best one I've ever been to. I left home raw with emotions and came back utterly emotionally exhausted, yet rejuvenated at the same time.

The theme was "I am more than..."  Numerous women shared their stories of being more than the season they were in, the circumstances of their life and their emotions.  I think every woman in that room had something to share and most did. They shared the work of Jesus in their lives, or the desire to see Jesus do a mighty work. They shared pain and healing. They shared their stories of redemption. The sharing of their stories drew us together.  There was a powerful feeling of connectedness that happened as stories were told.

We had a great introduction to our weekend as our first speaker talked about redemption.  She shared how redemption is MORE THAN the forgiveness of sins.  It is more than payment.  It includes deliverance and restoration.  She talked about our stories being important because they are - OUR stories. They are OUR journeys.  They are personal and there is joy to be found in each one.

She also shared how she has experienced the thoughts of "I have no story because nothing major has happened in my life" to thoughts of "Oh, well I have been through this, this and this.  When YOU have been through this...come talk to me." While I recognized what she said and agreed with the point she made, I did not realize I was about to engage in the same sad game of comparison.

In hearing women share their stories I found myself doing the very thing I seek not to do - judge others.  I walked into the room consumed by a number of things that have been wearing out my heart for some time. Honestly, I was focused on me and my pain. As the stories poured forth I found myself judging one person in particular and thinking, "Oh, she's just dealing with such and such. Whatever.  My struggles are far more challenging then hers." UGH. It hurts to admit this ugliness in me, but it was there.

Then, I heard more. More of her real story and the things God has brought her through. Oh my goodness.  So much MORE than I've dealt with!  I went from thinking she had no real reason to cry to thinking she is such an amazingly strong and vibrant woman of God! I found myself going from a stance of thinking, "Oh, I could help her with blah, blah, blah" to "Oh Lord, let the peace and strength she has resonate through me more!"

Just as I am typing this up, my email notifier showed up on my screen to let me know about books dealing with HUMILITY .  Nice Lord.  I just love your sense of humor. Deep breath now...

Yet, as I recognized that her story had great value, I also felt myself comparing again. Now I saw more value in her than in myself. I felt myself on both sides of comparison in this one woman sharing her story. As another speaker, Carrie, said when she spoke, we so often compare ourselves with others. We can compare ourselves with anything. "It's a gift. We don't even have to think about it. We just do it." Yep - I sure did. It was humbling and it was eye opening.

When the retreat closed the Lord gave me a shift in my perspective.  I was able to see the judgment I quickly passed, the shift of valuing this woman more and then even the fight to not let her value, her story, overshadow my own value in the Lord.   

I saw a need for improved lenses so that I can see others, and myself, more as Jesus does.  I needed a new perspective of the value of the Lord's work, whether in me or in others. My perspective changed to allow me to see each story and each work of redemption as valued for what it is, the work of a loving author and healer who desires redemption for each of us.

It is my heart's desire to grow more in seeing the value of others as I seek for balance in my own value before Him.  It was refreshing to recognize this and it was a gift. I am thankful to be shown my own pride, even though it seemed like an air of helpful service.  Really, my thoughts were rooted in pride. 

I am thankful for the opportunity to have pride shoved aside in favor of seeing much greater value and purpose in this woman - through the sharing of her story.

I am thankful for being reminded that her story, and my story, is valued and is important.

We are all works in progress and we all have victories and challenges.  We each have our own story and it is OUR OWN story.  Each story has great value.  The process of redemption in each story is extremely valuable. It is the work of a mighty and loving God who desires to deliver and to restore. The work He is doing in and through each of His children is of utterly great value. May we see our stories though the lenses of our redeemer.

Some stories of redemption are complete and we can rejoice in a known ending. Some are still in process and we look forward, with hope, to see a victorious ending.  In some stories, we will not see the end and they will require trust in a great and good God to know that the end is in His sight.

In all these works, let us keep our eyes fixed on the weaver of our stories.  Let us look forward to His redemptive work.  Let us be comforted that each of our stories are important because they are important to Him and because they reflect the work that He is doing.

"O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; 

you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before, 

and lay your hand upon me.

...

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me, 

when as yet there was none of them."

-Psalm 139:1-5;16

Deadly poison or lifegiving nourishment?

When I created the Facebook page for this blog I had no idea what pictures I could use to represent the theme of "His Not So Perfect Housewife".  Really, I'm still not sure what would be the best picture to use and may have to create my own. Unless...someone with a more creative gene than I has a great photo that they would like to offer... I'm not opposed to hand-me-downs.

Anyway, I needed something to use and came across a few botanical photos I had collected.  It got me thinking. One of my "not so perfect" hobbies is herbs. (Note: I have come to terms with my love for herbs as a hobby, not a talent or even an all-out, sold-out passion. A hobby. It's OK.  But I digress...)

Lyrical Living - "Kings & Queens" by Audio Adrenaline

Lyrical Living - When words and/or music flow beautifully and speak to or from my heart.

The beautiful lyrics of several songs have resonated deeply with me.  Over the last year one shared with me by my brother-in-law spoke of our journey to care for many children in foster care. The song was "Kings and Queens" by the new Audio Adrenaline.  How deeply it connected with me. To this tune I have cried and sung out loudly in praises and pleas.

Lyrical Living

My head and my heart are often full of thoughts and feelings that paint pictures in my mind.

Pictures. Words often turn into pictures.

Sometimes these pictures are beautiful and serene. Sometimes they are bits and pieces that begin to fit together like an intricate and beautiful puzzle. And sometimes...they are just pieces...waiting...to be put together...and to become a beautifully completed puzzle. Kind of like us...being fit together in the King's glorious puzzle.

With all of these images, it seems that the outlet for them is often inadequate. My mouth opens and the beautiful linking phrases and intentions come out in pitiful drops of words that fall dreadfully short of the feeling tied to them, the feelings that are resonating in my soul.

Book Review : The Love & Respect Experience : A Husband-Friendly Devotional that Wives Truly Love

A generally good book for spouses willing to work on and improve their marriage.

Emerson Eggerichs best-selling and life changing book “Love & Respect” has been followed by the book “The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate” and now a Love & Respect devotional tailored to be enjoyable for both husbands and wives.  This lovely imitation-leather bound book is a great addition and can be beneficial in keeping the concepts learned from the book and / or seminars alive and worked out in marriage.  

Book Review : When the Hurt Runs Deep - Healing and Hope for Life's Desperate Moments by Kay Arthur

When the Hurt Runs Deep: Healing and Hope for Life’s Desperate Moments
by Kay Arthur

    When I think of someone trying to bring hope during times of another’s great distress, I tend to anticipate trite words and an inability to connect with the sufferer and understand real deep pain and heartache.  Maybe it’s because I’ve seen several well-meaning people say things to hurting friends or acquaintances that don’t bring any real hope or healing to a situation.   Because of this, when I speak to others to encourage them in tough situations I am conscientious to consider their pain as very real and something I may or may not be able to relate to.  I don’t always know what to say either, but when I can relate to the person and/or to the situation, it makes the conversation much more meaningful.  In addition, it brings about great opportunities to share how Christ has worked in my heart to heal me and how He continues to be my source of peace and strength during challenging times.   In this book, readers get a glimpse of Kay Arthur’s personal life and the pains she has experienced.   She connects with the reader and you get the sense that she shares from the heart.        

WHO is HE and WHOSE are you?

2013 REVISION:

When God leads you to His word, He may use different means.  At times he calls me to lead something, like a Bible Study, instead of just studying on my own or even joining a group This happened when he brought me to the study Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed which includes teachings from Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore & Kay Arthur. I was blessed to share this study with other mom's in the first study, then later with more women and eventually with two teen foster girls who ended up giving their life to Christ. - Yay God!

There are several part of this whole study that ministered greatly to me, however, there was a part of the first session that was especially moving and inspiring.  Years later, it still resonates powerfully in my soul as I return to it.

Here, Priscilla Shirer talked about the anointing of God that David had in his life.  She shared how all of us who believe and trust in the Lord have the Holy Spirit, with the power of God, residing in us.
Through the Holy Spirit we are empowered to do His will in our lives and to stand against the enemy.

At one point Priscilla goes on a long and powerful exposition of who God is and who we are as a child of His. He is the one deserving of all my praise and the one constant who can help me me in all situations. Below are the words she stated so powerfully.  I read this again and again, even out loud!

May you too may be reminded, blessed and encouraged in Who He is and Whose you are!

He Is…..
The First and the Last
The Beginning and the end
The keeper of creation
The creator of all
He’s the architect of the universe
And the manager of all time

He always was, always is and always will be.
Unmoved, unchanged, undefeated and never undone

He was bruised but brought healing,
He was pierced but eased pain,
He was persecuted but brought freedom
He was dead and brings life
He is risen to bring power
And he reigns to bring peace

The world can’t understand Him
Armies can’t defeat Him
Schools can’t explain Him
And leaders they can’t ignore Him

Harold couldn’t kill Him
Nero couldn’t crush Him
The new age can not replace Him
And Oprah can not explain Him away

He IS Life,
HE IS Love,
HE IS Longevity and He IS The LORD
HE IS Goodness, kindness, faithfulness

And HE IS GOD
HE IS holy and righteous
and powerful and pure

His ways are right,
His word eternal
His will unchanging
And His mind is on us

He is our savior, our guide,
Our peace, our joy, our comfort
Our Lord and He rules our lives,

I serve Him because His bond is love
His yoke is easy His burden is light
And His goal for us is abundant life.

I follow Him because,
He Is the wisdom of the wise
The power of the powerful
The ancient of days, the ruler of rulers,
The leader of all leaders,
His goal is a relationship with me

He will never leave you, never forsake you
Never mislead you, never forget you,
Never overlook you and
Never cancel your appointment is His appointment book.

When you fall He’ll lift you up,
When you fail He will forgive you.
When you’re weak He’s strong,
When you’re lost He’s your way
When you’re afraid He is your courage,
When you stumble He will steady you,
When you’re hurt He Is going to heal you,
When you’re broken He will mend you,
When you’re blind He will lead you,
When you’re hungry He will feed you,
When you face trials He Is with you,
When I face persecution He shields me,
When I face problems He will comfort me,
When I face loss He will provide for me,

And when we face death
He will carry us all home to meet Him.

He is everything for everybody,
everywhere ,every time,
And in every way.

He is your God

and that sister’s is who you belong to.

Book Review : Outlive Your Life by Max Lucado

     In Outlive Your Life Max Lucado sends a message that underscores vital aspects of living as a follower of Christ and remains Biblical and purposeful in his approach.  His message draws frequently upon the book of Acts and relates the lives and work of those in the early church to our lives today.  Throughout the book the reader is encouraged and challenged to recognize their opportunity to make a difference in the world we live in and the need to keep Christ at the center of what we do.

Book Review : Living Life in the Zone : A 40-Day Spiritual Game Plan by Kyle Rote Jr. & Dr. Joe Pettigrew

Buy or Preview Living Life in the Zone

Living Life in the Zone is an easy to read book that provides short snippets of encouragement and challenges to men in a number of aspects of daily living. These are provided as short chapters utilizing various sports analogies and terms that should make the information easily relatable and readable for many men. For those who are put off by the thought of a heavy study in theology, yet recognize their need for personal spiritual growth, this book may fit their needs and may even provide a spring board for further study, prayer and growth.

Though I am not a sports fan, or male, I find that the regular format used for each chapter will really help to draw in many men who otherwise would not pick up a non-fiction book. Most chapters are about 6-8 pages in length and provide an appropriate introduction to each topic followed by scripture to support the message, examples from other lives (mostly prominent sports figures) and personal challenges for further introspection.

When first provided with the opportunity to read this book, courtesy of Thomas Nelson’s BookSneeze review program, my initial reaction was that it would be a book filled with little more than words on paper. However, I have come to find great value in this book and believe it has a purpose that could serve to minister to the hearts of many men. My prayer is that it would speak to men in such a way as to inspire them towards further study and growth with their Lord. In fact, I hope that it will be made available in an affordable audio CD solution so that those who are resistant to reading or strained for time will be able to benefit from the guidance and direction offered by Mr. Rote and Dr. Pettigrew.