Just say Jesus

As I was riding in the car today, deep in thought and seeking the Lord's presence through worship songs, I heard a new song on the radio. That happens occasionally you know.  After the thousandth time they play the same ones, a new one comes a long.  Then maybe weeks later you hear it again. I don't know who sang the song. I don't know what the name is.  I didn't Shazam it so I can't tell you what it was and had I not concentrated my thoughts to remember this line that stood out in the song, it would be forever forgotten due to short term memory difficulties, or getting older.  Whichever.

What I do remember was a simple line from the lyrics..."When you don't know what to do, just say Jesus" (or something like that...)

My heart sighed.

Memories flooded in.

A young girl terrified in the middle of the night.  Hearing from God and calling out.

Young children and foster children, shaking in fear, being told to call out.  Hesitating. Calling out. Being comforted.

Fear is vanquished and comfort floods in when the peaceful presence of the great I AM is called upon, and trusted in.

This young girl, me, woke trembling on several occasions from young childhood through to young womanhood and even now at times.  At some point, The Lord said, "Call out to me. Call on my name. Trust in Me."

I did. I called on his name. As a whisper at first. Then louder. Then more boldly.  The fear dissipated and I felt the presence of his peace covering  and filling the room.  Not because I called on his name as a magical incantation but because at the name of Jesus every knee, every power under heaven, will bow.  His name is mighty.  His being is beyond understanding.

In calling on the name of Jesus in the midst of my fears, I am also trusting Him.  I am believing that He is more mighty than my fears. I am turning my thoughts towards the one who loves and cherishes me. Towards the one who suffered on my behalf to the point of death! He cares enough to be there when I call upon him.

These young children were scared for different reasons.  I believe at the heart of all of those reasons was their need to seek the same master who leads me and comforts me.  When they have been scared I hugged them, prayed with them and gave them a mama's comfort.

They need more than I can give. I have my role as mom, but they need more than that.  My foster son especially needed more as he has lived in anxiety, sadness and fear to the point where it took him months to even receive any comfort from me.

What could I give them that would last beyond me? What would be stronger and more reliable than me?  I give them Jesus.  I tell them, "When you are afraid, call on Jesus. He is mighty and his name is powerful.  He is ALWAYS with you and will NEVER leave you.  EVERY where you go, no matter where that is, Jesus is the one you can count on and the one you can call on. Call on Him!""

Then I have prayed with my children to teach them what it means to call out to Jesus and to ask for His help. I have purposed to teach them that there is One who knows them so well because He made them for mighty purposes.  That the fears they have, and in some cases the situations they have been in, were not things that He desires for them, but that they can always seek Him.

No matter where we are...no matter what the situation is...no matter the lack of words we have in the moment, we can be comforted as we trust in the great I Am, as we call on his name.

Really, it is much, much more than just saying a word.  It is a call of trust.  It is a call of surrender as we give over our fears to receive the peace of something, someone, greater. It is something I need to remind myself of.

When you don't know what else to do, or what to say, it is a good start.  A powerful start.

Just say Jesus.

Philippians 2:10, John 10: 11-15, John 18: 5-6, Exodus 3: 6, 13-14

Book Review : Fatal Tide by Lis Wiehl (Book Three in East Salem Trilogy)

Fatal Tide by Lis Wiehl (Lis - not Lisa), with Pete Nelson

A supernatural thriller where the fate of the world waits on the eminent release of a powerful drug.  And...beasts from the pits of hell. And...an ancient evil plot. And...demons....

This powerful drug would create maniacal super humans - over time.  It has already infiltrated the pond of a wealthy ex-football player named Tommy.  Tommy's home is also surrounded by supernatural, yet corporal, beasts. The same beasts have attacked a teenage boy named Reese who has escaped the elite St Adrian's Academy. 

Reese makes his way to Tommy's place and begins to confide and align with Tommy and his girlfriend Dani.  This couple is already more than aware of much of the evil being carried out at St Adrians, where young men are selected, chosen, and are then tucked away. How will their plans be carried out? What can Tommy & Dani do? Fight demons and save the world of course.

Deep breath....

Ten Things You Can Do to Help - Foster Parent edition

Has your heart has longed to minister to the hearts of hurting people? Mine has. I've particularly desired to be a mama to hurting, abused and neglected children. This passion is a little odd and contradictory personally as I also desire much quiet time and order in the home. 

Yeah, quiet, solitude and order. Caring for hurting children. This doesn't sync together too well. 

Allow me to expand a bit. I began my mothering journey at 19, single and alone. As a result, I've felt that I missed out on the adult single years and longed for them since this birth occurred 22 years ago.  Yet, as much as I had these desires, I also felt that God might lead our blended family to fostering or adopting some day.  If we did, I knew it would require a lot of work and it definitely wouldn't be orderly and quiet! So, I confronted my desire for comfort and faced that God may lead me to something much more challenging, which I also wanted.  I also wanted to love a hurting child, or two. Contradictory desires. My heart and mind wrestled internally and with God.

Ultimately, the desire to serve Christ no matter what and the passion to love others for the sake of the gospel led us to a life altering and life shaking move far beyond what I had imagined. Now my heart is forever changed.

Our journey as foster parents began and ended much differently than I anticipated. We moved our family to do so. That was huge. Then, it wasn't one or two children we would care for, but 13 foster children in a span of 15 months in addition to another teenage boy.  DEFINITELY, not quiet and orderly! Once we took the step, we thought we might stay in this role for several years. But, due to a number of circumstances we moved back and now have two children in the home. By now, I had already borne the greatest pain involved in the initial stages of caring for our hurt children. Now, I wanted to make these children a part of our home forever, but God had other plans for them and for us. Moving back and releasing the children was another God led, life altering move that required great trust.

 (Our 2012 family at Christmas minus a few)

I could look back at our season as a failure, or I could look to it as an amazing opportunity to learn to trust God at an immensely deeper level and as a stepping-stone to the next area of service. I tend to drift towards the former thoughts, but with my eyes lifted to Christ, I choose the latter.  

Now, after an intense season of busyness and an incredible number of trials and obstacles, we are in a much needed season of rest.  It will not be forever. Soon, God will bring us into a new season of serving and it will look much different than the last year and a half.   

As I reflect on our journey, I recall numerous ways that we received help that was such a blessing. I also think of ways that I wish others might have helped, but when people offered, we didn't know what we needed and we really didn't want to ask.

Perhaps you have a friend who is fostering and/or adopting? Perhaps you desire to do so yourself but aren't ready to commit just yet. If so, consider some of the following ways to help and bless others who have made the commitment.  You can still be a blessing in so many ways! Who knows what journey the Lord may have for you!

Ten Things You Can Do to Help - Foster Parent Edition:
(Maybe these are the Top Ten, maybe not. Maybe I'm missing some GREAT ideas that YOU have...if so...please share below in the comments section!)

Book Review : Radical Together by David Platt

Radical Together by David Platt

David Platt's book "Radical" is pretty widely known and has been read by many.  "Radical Together" is a follow up book that may be less known, but I actually preferred this book over the original title. This is probably because it resonates with my desire to see church's, and the member's of the church's, come together more fully for the purpose of the gospel and to live it out in community and around the world.  Though some of the content overlaps with the original title, the topics in this book are more geared to a vision for the church body and its members.

Throughout the book David shares times when he and his church, and he and his wife, have asked hard questions with each other about the decisions they had to make.  Questions such as, "Does this plan best align with the plan of God?" are posed when discussing financial decisions for the church budget, location of evangelism, preaching content and more.  Ultimately, are we willing to take the risks and make changes as necessary to follow the plan believed to be best aligned with God's. Let's ask the hard questions and see what God says and be ready to respond to God's response.

I applaud David for discussing the need to understand a gospel driven motivation behind "works" of various kind.  For example, when sharing a vision for adoption and fostering withing the church, he was clear that he would not use emotional manipulation but a gospel driven approach.  I've seen emotional manipulation used often and it does not promote healthy decision making. He shares that decisions for radical life changes, such as downsizing homes should be gospel oriented as well. David poses hard questions that may lead to dramatic life changes and sacrifices - for the sake of the gospel - while reminding the reader of  God focused motivation.

Kudos to David for pointing out that the Word of God is essential and remains effective in preaching, evangelizing and discipling. Many pastors are stating, directly or indirectly, that God's Word does not relate to issues of today and that the church needs all kinds of programs and great people to draw "seekers" in.  David reminds us that it is God who does the seeking and that a church's plan to reach others for Him must be centered on God. Even if just the Word of God was preached, God's work could be accomplished.

I'm also thankful to hear David share a heart to consider how God can use so-called "wrong" people for His purposes in the church.  David pleas for church leaders to draw out people who may not seem like the prototype for a successful leader in some area, but in God's eyes they are the right person for the task. I was excited to read this as I have often desired to see church members trained in such a way that they could develop God given (but perhaps not easily recognized) gifts and purposes within the church and in evangelism and discipleship.  God used all kinds of imperfect people throughout the Bible and still uses them today.  Let us encourage, train and equip others to rise to the challenge of being a part of God's vision for His world.

The questions David poses, and the perception challenges that are laid out, resonate deeply with my husband and I and the ways we have sought to minister and serve and disciple over the years.  Thank you Mr. Platt for your honesty, forthrightness and yet amicable approach to ask and to pose the hard questions that ultimately seek to serve, teach and evangelize for the glory of the Lord.

For a day like today...God gave me Chugga Dude & Costco

Some days are just hard...emotionally exhausting even. I've had a lot of those, especially over the last many months. Sometimes I feel like I am at a crux where the momentum of life is taking a hard right to a new direction.

Today, I got the chance to come face to face with hard realities in life.  I am confronted with the fact that our children are never really under our control. They are created by our Creator and we are blessed with the opportunity to love and shepherd them for a period of time. Then they begin to make their own decisions and the best thing a parent can do is cry out to God and pray and trust. He made them after all. He had a plan for them long before a mother did.

Days like today make the good and bad memories of years gone by flood to the surface. Days like today remind me of my great need for total reliance on my Father in Heaven. Days like today I don't look forward to, but can later learn to appreciate and be thankful for. 

In the midst, I've been reminded to seek joy in all sufferings. That the rewards in heaven for suffering are far greater than temporal sufferings.  I've been comforted by friends. I am challenged to find things to be thankful for and to rejoice in the Lord despite the pain as I lay my burdens at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to take over.  Um...can I say...Jesus take the wheel?

As I pause towards the end of this day, I have a moment to reflect and to thank God for the little things.  I am thankful for the hug of a faithful friend.  I am thankful for the help of another to assist in something I could not do on my own.   I am thankful for texts from loved ones at just the right time.

And... one of the best things about today, was a little reminder from God to treasure the moments. Moments like seeing my Chugga Dude, my ever creating and non stop wonder, find excitement at Costco. I can relate.  For me, Costco means finding loads of organic and natural items to stock up on.  For Chugga Dude and my little Rose it means so many free samples that the pit stop for lunch before shopping was completely unnecessary.  For Chugga Dude and my little Rose, it also means a place where simple things, like empty boxes mean new creations.  Even a box can let your spirits soar as you imagine the fun your jet pack boy is going to have on his adventures.

So for today...God gave me Chugga Dude & Costco. 

Come on Chugga Dude....let's soar!

Deadly poison or lifegiving nourishment?

When I created the Facebook page for this blog I had no idea what pictures I could use to represent the theme of "His Not So Perfect Housewife".  Really, I'm still not sure what would be the best picture to use and may have to create my own. Unless...someone with a more creative gene than I has a great photo that they would like to offer... I'm not opposed to hand-me-downs.

Anyway, I needed something to use and came across a few botanical photos I had collected.  It got me thinking. One of my "not so perfect" hobbies is herbs. (Note: I have come to terms with my love for herbs as a hobby, not a talent or even an all-out, sold-out passion. A hobby. It's OK.  But I digress...)

Lyrical Living - Don't Give UP! - Help is on the way....

Lyrical Living (Click for more info) -
When words and/or music flow beautifully and speak to or from my heart.

Have you ever felt like the circumstances of life were weighing so heavily that it felt like literally...physically... you couldn't even take another step?   Yeah - maybe you are saying, "Been there. Done that. Got the T-Shirt...make that ten T-shirts...wait, make that the Platinum T-Shirt...no...no...I'm LIVING in the T-Shirt"!

Sometimes, the weights seem to pile on one after another. Maybe one gets lifted and a heavier one seems to be added. I've felt that way on many occasions...recently even...many times over. Then when I begin to think about the weight(s), I start criticizing myself for focusing on them and feeling sad, in despair, anxious etc, because I know that living in those emotions isn't the life God has for me. Then, my self-criticism can quickly turn into condemnation. Then - my mind reels some more and says, no condemnation!  My thoughts go from one thing to the next, and none of it is a healthy place to stay in.

In the heat of the battle, a spiritual battle taking place in the mind, constructive conviction sometimes gives way to destructive self-talk and self-condemnation.  Self-condemnation is a path Satan wants to take me on so I won't find the blessings God has for me in persevering. Constructive conviction can help me make changes that ultimately strengthen me and give glory to God.

This time your heart said it's had enough

Sick and tired of everything that's so messed up

You don't wanna move on just playing games

Praying hard somehow that your life will change

When you feel like you don't know what to do

Stuck inside this maze you can't go through 

Then, in some way I hear HIS voice again.  Maybe through a song on the radio, a call from someone who cares (even if the whispering voice tries to tell me that they don't), the smile of a child, or simply the still small voice of the Holy Spirit reminding me to seek the Father's face.  I am reminded of words treasured in my heart.  "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

That verse. It's so frequently quoted that it often loses meaning and impact.  Have you noticed the words before and after it? The Lord shares this verse of hope to his people after telling them they will endure many, many trials for many, many years! UGH!  Now, I KNOW my challenges aren't as bad as what the captured Israelites endured in Babylon!

His kind voice reminds me as I read further, "Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:12-13

By taking the time to focus on the truths of God and the words He has shared with the people whom he has loved, I can choose a different path for my thought pattern. I can remind myself that by calling on Him and praying to Him, He will hear me. Not only that, but I WILL FIND Him when I seek Him with all my heart. In this process, I can go from destructive self-talk to words of truth and promises.

Fear, sadness, anxiety and despair.  These feelings are real - but they are not the end! I have to remind myself of this. They do not have to become reality.

These walls around you are caving in

And your life seems like it is wearing thin

And your hope is drowning in despair

It looks like you're not going anywhere

Step inside this heart and then you'll see

Such a love that is so amazing.

These words were very real for me several months ago when I reached another point of feeling like I couldn't go any further.  God used this song to speak to me when I needed it most.  I had felt like I was pushing and pushing through and trusting God to provide, yet I just didn't have the strength to "do" anymore.  I reached a point where I couldn't listen to anymore of the Christian radio station and turned it off. My mind was going into unhealthy territory, right where the enemy wanted me to go. I felt extremely alone, unloved and incapable to persevere. 

It was silent in the vehicle, from the the radio not playing, for all of about 5 minutes.  But, the multiple children in the back continued their fighting and screaming at each other so loudly and unrelentingly that I turned the radio on FULL BLAST.  My intent was to change the atmosphere in a shocking way to get them to pause the fighting for a minute.  My little plan backfired.  Ahem...

Honestly, I don't recall what the children did next or if they even stopped fighting for the next week.  What I remember clearly - was HOW LOUD and exact the words were that played in my ear at the time I needed the reminder the most.

DON'T GIVE UP

Help is surely on its way

And don't give up

And the dark is breaking in to day

And just keep on moving through these storms 

And soon enough you'll find the door

Just don't give up

Oh, and don't give up

Yeah - really.  Don't give up. As simple, and hard, as that. I felt like God was reminding me to keep on going, to keep on trusting and to keep on praying and seeking him. I did not have the strength, but He provided in small ways that helped me get through.

Sometimes help comes in ways that we don't recognize, but it's there. Sometime it comes in the form of a bible verse we've heard many times over. Sometimes it comes in the form of a phone call or interruption at just the right time which causes a disruption of unhealthy thought patterns. Sometimes it's in the words of a sermon, or in a book, or from a friend and it encourages us and reminds us of God's truths and promises.

Help is surely on its way, but if we aren't looking for it we might miss it. By looking for it I mean preparing our hearts to receive what God has for us - even when we feel he has nothing for us or that what he has is something we don't want. When our hearts are turned to the Father and seeking Him and desiring His will, we are able to more clearly hear and recognize His voice over the din of life's circumstances. 

For me - in the above example - help came in a reminder not to give up.  Then, I had to begin to find ways to trade the thoughts of despair into hope.  The only way to do the that is by spending time in God's word, the Bible, and in prayer so that I could hear His voice and hear the truths which I needed to replace the many lying whispers. Not only that, I choose to focus my thoughts on those truths.

Finding hope - in seeking Him and His truths. Not giving up.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1

("Don't Give Up" lyrics by Calling Glory)

One Heart. Many, many pieces. The tearing of eyes & the tearing of aheart.

A Wife
     Adoring Comforted Delighted Thankful
     Hurting Wondering Wishing
     Clinging Hoping Loving

A Mother
     Rejoicing Caring Praising Joyful
     Grieving Torn Wanting
     Clinging Hoping Loving

A Woman
     Believing Soaking Receiving Trusting
     Conflicted Wounded Weeping
     Clinging Hoping Loving

Today has been one of those "feel like your heart was banged up against your chest" kind of days.  For years I had thought of myself as being one of those women who don't cry much.  For years I simply did not easily tear up. At least, I thought I didn't. These last few years though have put me FAR into the realm of feeling deeply and experiencing many, many emotions more significantly. Today was simply RACKED FULL with raw emotions on various spectrums, like all...over...the...place.

Our day began with the most amazing experience.  We saw a 14 year old get baptized.  A 14 year old boy whom we saw go from utter despair to amazing hope. A boy whom we loved and shared the hope and love of Jesus with. This boy is the oldest of the sibling group of five children that we cared for for 15 months.

 Due to a number of circumstances, we were not able to keep caring for the sibling group and let me tell you....that alone tore me up inside!  I love these children - deeply. I wanted to be there for them through all their triumphs. When these precious children first came to us, caring for them was extremely challenging. There were many struggles and battles to be fought and much, much love and forbearance required. We went through it. I wanted to be a part of the joy filled life on the other side. Ultimately, we were not to continue in our role.  It was something that was clearly directed by God.  We had to trust in Him in yet another new and deeper level.  Then He brought these children to a loving Christian home about 30-40 minutes away from us.  The way God worked out the details was simply a miracle.

Today - we got to watch this child be baptized and take that bold step to let all know that HE is going to FOLLOW JESUS and TRUST HIM! For this, I was overjoyed!

Today - we also sat by him.  We were there as, well...we'll always feel like parents to him...yet...we aren't.  So we were there as people who will always love and care for him but on the outside of his immediate family. That was tough for me.  He is now in the care of another home. Another set of parents. So are his siblings. I miss them. Part of me longs to be mom to them, but I can't and I'm not supposed to be. For this I am sad and conflicted.

That...tears...a...heart.

New Season - New Blog - New Mercies - New Hope

Those who know us well know that over the last few years our family has gone through many large changes, endured many challenging situations and fought many spiritual battles.  We have also seen miracles happen, God's mighty movements in people's hearts, healing and growth.

In early 2012, with short notice, we moved from our home of over a decade to live on a ranch we did not own.  (For more information on the move click here.)  We took care of 13 foster children and another teen boy in a span of 15 months.  At the end of May 2013 we moved back to our home and soon we were down to three of our five children in the home.

Previous to "the move" we had taken a year of rest from many commitments after coming out of a season of owning and operating a non-profit ministry and large physical Christian library, as well leading many ministries (worship, prayer, teen, mens, womens etc) and homeschooling four of our five children.

Many times there have been activities that we've led or participated in that were great and fulfilling.  Also, there were several times that they did not turned out as we had hoped or thought they would. 

We have often wrestled with many of the things that many people wrestle with:

Are we parenting our kids well? Are they learning discipline? Are we showing grace? Do they feel loved? Do they love us?

Will homeschooling our kids be successful?  Will they excel?  What methods or curriculum should we use?

Why does communication in marriage seem so difficult...nay...impossible?  Why doesn't he just listen? Why doesn't she trust me?

Will I ever learn to simply stop yelling, or getting irritated, or feeling hurt, or in despair?

Why does it seem that life is SO HARD!

      Ugh - this one I hate to even admit that I think... and I always have to check myself because deep down I KNOW that MANY MANY people experience FAR more challenging circumstances.

Then it hits again. Will I ever stop feeling bad for myself?  Seriously Jo - SNAP OUT OF IT! (Like that ever really helps.)

Then...Then...Then....

HE speaks to me.  HE speaks to my heart. HE reminds me that HE has the peace I need, that HE cares, that HE is strong enough to overcome and....and....and...

that HE is worthy of me praising HIM despite the circumstances.

So now we are beginning a new season. It is FAR from perfect. There are still painful family circumstances we are walking through.  We are learning new and deeper levels of trusting HIM all the time.  We are learning new ways to communicate as a couple and with others. We are learning new perspectives to so many aspects of walking a life of humility and confidence in Christ. There are new mercies and there is a deeper understanding of clinging to Him. There is still pain and brokenness to be worked out, but there is a renewing of our spirit with Hope.

So now...we lean into Him more than ever. 

So now...we seek Him in all things.   We hold on to our belief that His promises are true and good and that His ultimate plan for our lives is better than anything we can see or understand.

Now we look forward to a new and brighter future, here and forevermore.

"...He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down for these words are trustworthy and true." - Revelation 21:4-5

Top 10 signs that it might be a Pirate kind of day -

10. Your daily books deals promote books about Pirates.

9. Your friends are dressed up in full Pirate garb and posting pictures on Facebook.

8. Your kids can't stay focused on schoolwork because they are trying to figure out how to look like a pirate. They would rather grab black construction paper and start cutting out multiple eye masks then do their math.

7. You forgo all afternoon plans to help said kiddos become pirates so they can collect sugar booty. Surely you are parent of the year...leading your children to the life of a pirate.

6. In order to do so, you must find out what YOU own that will help YOU become "parent of the year" pirate. Arggh!

5. You stop at a tiny island with cheap trinkets and treasures to complete said costume. Then you get to share your new cheap piratey things with someone else so they can collect sugar booty like you. (But that's not really very piratey like.)

4. Your accent becomes thick and raspy and scurvy like, and you say things like "Ahoy Matey" and "Arrgggh" (Then later you might be corrected by your Captain, "Isn't scurvy a disease?" Well, whatever. The disease affects the mouth so you really can sound scurvy -like, but that's kind of gross to think about.)

3. You might call up a friend talking like a pirate and never give any indication that you are anything BUT said pirate. Then you wonder if they understood anything you said anyway, in your scurvy piratey voice.

2. You wonder if you'll ever get to try some of your friends special homemade Piratey Rum. Hmmm.

1. On the way home from collecting your sugar booty, you listen to non-piratey music and your children sing along to the tunes, thereby changing their personalities out of pirate hood for a moment, until...the song says, "opened my eyes, let me see..." and your youngest matey says, "I ONLY have ONE eye!!"

Ask, Seek, Knock...Receive

What is that you said?

"For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."
-Deuteronomy 4:24

You are a jealous God? What do you have to be jealous of?

I am not like you. I don't have anything that you haven't given me.

Oh - wait a minute.

I don't have anything that you haven't given me?

I don't have anything that you haven't given me.

Hmmmm...

I do not have anything that YOU haven't given me!

Yikes!  My home? My husband? My kids? My friends?

My peace...my comfort...my assurance.

Your love! Your grace! Your forgiveness! Your sufficiency! Your redemption!

Should I ask for more? Do I dare? Won't I bother you? What if I ask for the wrong things?

Book Review: The Rainbow Egg by Linda K. Hendricks, M.D.

Two birds with rainbow feathers. A mom and dad. Mr. and Mrs. Rainbow. Waiting. Longing. Wishing for an egg of their own. 

These two sweet birds want their own chick to raise.  They have a happy home, but no chick to join them.  They try and try but still they have no egg.

One bird. Hope. With a rainbow egg.

She lives alone in the woods and has no nest.  She has a rainbow egg, but no home.  She tries and tries but still has no way to care for the rainbow egg she carries.

Lyrical Living - "Kings & Queens" by Audio Adrenaline

Lyrical Living - When words and/or music flow beautifully and speak to or from my heart.

The beautiful lyrics of several songs have resonated deeply with me.  Over the last year one shared with me by my brother-in-law spoke of our journey to care for many children in foster care. The song was "Kings and Queens" by the new Audio Adrenaline.  How deeply it connected with me. To this tune I have cried and sung out loudly in praises and pleas.

Lyrical Living

My head and my heart are often full of thoughts and feelings that paint pictures in my mind.

Pictures. Words often turn into pictures.

Sometimes these pictures are beautiful and serene. Sometimes they are bits and pieces that begin to fit together like an intricate and beautiful puzzle. And sometimes...they are just pieces...waiting...to be put together...and to become a beautifully completed puzzle. Kind of like us...being fit together in the King's glorious puzzle.

With all of these images, it seems that the outlet for them is often inadequate. My mouth opens and the beautiful linking phrases and intentions come out in pitiful drops of words that fall dreadfully short of the feeling tied to them, the feelings that are resonating in my soul.

Book Review : The 13th Tribe by Robert Liparulo

I joined a blogger program to receive, read and review books. Great. Free books.

I began to read Robert Liparulo's book, "The 13th Tribe".  Great.  Christian Fiction. Suspense. Page turning adventure.

Then I moved and began a season of extreme busyness by taking care of many children.  Great.

But...not so productive when it comes to following through on an agreement to finish a book and review it.

Now I've moved again. Now I can review again.  Now I will review a book I finished months ago.

For now, I rest.

Sometimes you are so tired. So, so, so tired. Sometimes the tiredness is a physical exhaustion from not enough rest over a period of time and/or over-exertion in some form.  Sometimes it's an emotional and mental exhaustion from dealing with life's challenges and the hurt and pain you and and others around you experience.  Sometimes it's a combination of both and it brings you to your knees. Either way, you might be so tired...that as you are half-awake thinking about how tired you are, you grab a bowl.  Then you kind of think, a little, about how you really should get more bowls because there never seems to be enough that are clean. Or maybe you should just clean them.  Then you realize that you are about to pour coffee into that bowl.  Finally, you remember your thoughts about being tired and realize that today is a good day to do very little.

Got Lice? To RID or Not To RID..that may be your question...

When we received our first foster children, five in one night, we received a whirlwind. The phrase "trial by fire" really doesn't even come close to the multitude of things we dealt with and the obstacles that seemed to continually come up.  It seemed more like "trial by fire...and hurricane...and earthquake."  One of the crazy things we dealt with was lice. Very bad cases of lice in four of the five children. Oy! In addition, we found this out at about 9:30 at night and it kept us up until after 1:00 in the morning after being exhausted from moving and settling in to our new home over the previous few days. I knew I should have stopped unpacking and taken a good nap that day!

When I heard the word "lice", my brain raced for data to comprehend the situation. The most I knew about lice was that in my elementary school years there was an annual check for this and someone stared at your scalp while using a comb to move your hair around. Sometimes, one or two kids went home that day and everyone wondered if they would get "cooties" from them when they returned. Maybe they lived in nasty dirty homes, I thought. Oh, and let's not forget that while growing up I was frequently reminded not to pick up dirty bird feathers because they might carry "lice" the ever elusive bugs I didn't quite understand. But rest assured, they were nasty and no one wanted anyone near them!  

My knowledge of lice today has grown significantly as we had to get rid of these nasty critters in what ended up being six children and three adults, and more than one time. Unfortunately, I became much more familiar with them than I wanted; it even became personal. The first time I had them felt so awfully itchy but the bugs hadn't been found. Then one day I scratched my own head to find one. Later when my husband helped comb my hair and found...too many...I almost fell to the floor sobbing tears of disgust and weariness. For weeks we washed everyone's bed sheets, clothes, towels, pillow cases, mattress covers and anything else they may have come in contact with; we washed in the Sanitary cycle of the washer. My two large tables were stacked over a foot high with laundry to fold on a daily basis.  I didn't know what I was doing and wore myself out doing what I could.  One thing I knew; I did not and would not use RID, or any other chemical treatment.  Despite the fact that I had no medical directive allowing it's use on the children from a physician, I didn't want to use the harsh chemicals directly on the scalp for anyone, let alone these children whose bodies had already been dealing with too many chemicals and malnutrition.  Your skin is your largest organ and putting these chemicals on the scalp of these children was not something I was willing to compromise on!

What to do? The first night we tried apple cider vinegar wash, we combed with a comb borrowed from a neighbor who had dealt with lice, we tried hot ironing and we blow dried hair and we used mayonnaise and olive oil.  Lice was removed from two boys (from the combing), but the two girls still had it...bad. 

We kept combing and combing and combing and finding new tips that seemed to help in the overall crusade against these jumpy critters (yes, they DO jump! I watched them on jump on a pile of JUST CLEANED clothes and almost fell over, again, crying). 

Then, we took in another girl who had been dealing with lice for months and we were told that she had undergone her THIRD chemical treatment, at least.  This last one supposedly started the scurrying escape of over a hundred creepy crawlies.  Hmmm... that's really, really...not good.

So, finally we took steps that eradicated lice from a home with 15 people living in it!  Maybe you are dealing with it now or maybe you know of someone who is.  I'm going to share the steps that we took that I believe contributed to the final HURRAH moment of feeling lice free!  These are all natural methods that we used and I never spent a penny on lice medications or shampoos.

1   COMB, COMB, COMB! We bought lice combs and quite a few of them!

• Not Recommended:
• The cheap plastic ones? Don't bother, they break and they don't work.  
• Robi Electric Comb? Personally, I don't think it's worth the money. Sure it's fun to know that the little critters get zapped when hit by the electricity. But, it kept stopping because of dandruff or other things that got in the way.  Plus, we found the tines to be too short.  It was OK for the boys short hair, but a pain for the girls long hair.
• Recommended:
•  A good lice egg and nit comb with metal tines. We have the Nit-Comb which is the gray-blue comb with a long handle. They sold these with shorter tines (shown) and longer tines at a local pharmacy. I haven't seen them at any major retailers.  We also used a kit of two combs and a little brush from Walgreens or Wal-Mart. This was a kit of combs only and no RID. One had smaller tines than the other so we alternated usage to get big bugs and to get tiny sticky eggs.  I've checked online briefly and found one that looks promising called Nit Free Terminator.

 

2. All the females began pulling hair back tightly into ponytails and/or braids if possible, and then hid the hair under a secured handkerchief head covering.  The reason for this was two-fold. One, keeping our own hair tight and covered prevented new bugs from getting onto our scalp. The tight hair makes it hard for them to hold on, from what I understand. But hey, if there is a handkerchief in the way...all the better right?  The second reason was to keep whatever was still on our heads from getting on anyone, or anything, else.  

3. Wash all towels, clothes and bedding in your Sanitary cycle at home. The hotter the better. 

Initially, we washed all bedding, towels and clothes every day on the hottest cycles.  I also bagged up dirty clothes and linen to drop straight into the washer. Not everything because kids helped here also. 

Anything I couldn't wash sat in the hot Texas summer sun. However, after a few weeks of this being too much laundry for so many people (abnormal day was already 4 loads), I loosened up. I had two large dining tables covered with 1-2 foot high piles of dried, cleaned laundry. It was also ALL bagged out of the dryer and brought to the table. That was...a lot. Anyway, after awhile I would work on everyone's hair at bedtime. Their heads had conditioner with tea tree oil in it and the girl's hair was pulled tight into a bun overnight. Their heads laid on towels that I would wash instead of all the bedding. This ended up being fine. 

4.  COMB again!

5.  Natural Hair Spray Bug Killer. 

      Recently, I made my own mix of apple cider vinegar with several drops of tea tree oil and a little water in a spray bottle.  I sprayed this onto our hair to kill what wasn't caught by the combs.  My ritual became to spray this prior to combing because the apple cider vinegar is supposed to help loosen eggs and the tea tree oil is supposed to help kill the bugs and growing eggs.   

     You may want to do this outside, if you can, because the cider vinegar is strong smelling. Also, you may want a more watered down option for young children especially if they have had bugs for awhile and have open wounds.  If there are open wounds from the lice eating scalp, or any other reason, the vinegar will burn.   

     Personally, at nighttime I sprayed my hair, combed it through, then pulled it back into a tight bun and sprayed all over again.  With my hair pulled tight I could spray more onto the scalp itself where the bugs would be. Then I used a towel over my pillow to protect the bedding from the oil.

6.  COMB again!

7. Tea Tree oil in shampoo.  I also added tea tree oil in condition and combed this into our hair overnight but it was hard to really work into the scalp for those of us with longer hair.  Recently lice showed up again out of the blue for two of us. We hadn't had it here for months and suddenly it showed up. I switched to the spray at night instead of tea oil conditioner.  If you have a sensitive head, you may want to use the tea tree oil in conditioner option instead of spraying.  Once the hair is pulled back tightly it is easier to work it onto the scalp itself.  I'm not convinced that it is foolproof in killing the bugs, but it does seem to be a very effective part of the solution.  Many people swear by it for prevention as well. I prefer it mixed in a carrier like the spray or shampoo or conditioner.

8. COMB again!

Seriously, we combed as often as we could.  Combing meant having a bowl of water nearby to drown the critters and remove the eggs off the combs.  Sometimes it's hard to identify whether or not you have combed out an egg or if it's dandruff. However, the eggs, which look white on the hair, look like round dark spots between the tines when you hold it up to the light. Grown bugs will be on the comb and you'll want to drown them quickly!

Everyone has different ideas of how to get rid of the bug.  Some may say that I did too much and others too little. This is what I chose to do and it worked.  So, "to RID or not to RID?" For me, I don't believe RID works. More importantly, I believe the chemicals are highly dangerous neurotoxins and don't belong on the scalp or anywhere near me, let alone the children.  

If you should start to feel itchy often at the base of your head or on the crown...have someone check you!

I chose to NOT RID and still eradicated these nasty things!

 

Book Review : The Love & Respect Experience : A Husband-Friendly Devotional that Wives Truly Love

A generally good book for spouses willing to work on and improve their marriage.

Emerson Eggerichs best-selling and life changing book “Love & Respect” has been followed by the book “The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate” and now a Love & Respect devotional tailored to be enjoyable for both husbands and wives.  This lovely imitation-leather bound book is a great addition and can be beneficial in keeping the concepts learned from the book and / or seminars alive and worked out in marriage.  

Book Review : When the Hurt Runs Deep - Healing and Hope for Life's Desperate Moments by Kay Arthur

When the Hurt Runs Deep: Healing and Hope for Life’s Desperate Moments
by Kay Arthur

    When I think of someone trying to bring hope during times of another’s great distress, I tend to anticipate trite words and an inability to connect with the sufferer and understand real deep pain and heartache.  Maybe it’s because I’ve seen several well-meaning people say things to hurting friends or acquaintances that don’t bring any real hope or healing to a situation.   Because of this, when I speak to others to encourage them in tough situations I am conscientious to consider their pain as very real and something I may or may not be able to relate to.  I don’t always know what to say either, but when I can relate to the person and/or to the situation, it makes the conversation much more meaningful.  In addition, it brings about great opportunities to share how Christ has worked in my heart to heal me and how He continues to be my source of peace and strength during challenging times.   In this book, readers get a glimpse of Kay Arthur’s personal life and the pains she has experienced.   She connects with the reader and you get the sense that she shares from the heart.        

WHO is HE and WHOSE are you?

2013 REVISION:

When God leads you to His word, He may use different means.  At times he calls me to lead something, like a Bible Study, instead of just studying on my own or even joining a group This happened when he brought me to the study Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed which includes teachings from Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore & Kay Arthur. I was blessed to share this study with other mom's in the first study, then later with more women and eventually with two teen foster girls who ended up giving their life to Christ. - Yay God!

There are several part of this whole study that ministered greatly to me, however, there was a part of the first session that was especially moving and inspiring.  Years later, it still resonates powerfully in my soul as I return to it.

Here, Priscilla Shirer talked about the anointing of God that David had in his life.  She shared how all of us who believe and trust in the Lord have the Holy Spirit, with the power of God, residing in us.
Through the Holy Spirit we are empowered to do His will in our lives and to stand against the enemy.

At one point Priscilla goes on a long and powerful exposition of who God is and who we are as a child of His. He is the one deserving of all my praise and the one constant who can help me me in all situations. Below are the words she stated so powerfully.  I read this again and again, even out loud!

May you too may be reminded, blessed and encouraged in Who He is and Whose you are!

He Is…..
The First and the Last
The Beginning and the end
The keeper of creation
The creator of all
He’s the architect of the universe
And the manager of all time

He always was, always is and always will be.
Unmoved, unchanged, undefeated and never undone

He was bruised but brought healing,
He was pierced but eased pain,
He was persecuted but brought freedom
He was dead and brings life
He is risen to bring power
And he reigns to bring peace

The world can’t understand Him
Armies can’t defeat Him
Schools can’t explain Him
And leaders they can’t ignore Him

Harold couldn’t kill Him
Nero couldn’t crush Him
The new age can not replace Him
And Oprah can not explain Him away

He IS Life,
HE IS Love,
HE IS Longevity and He IS The LORD
HE IS Goodness, kindness, faithfulness

And HE IS GOD
HE IS holy and righteous
and powerful and pure

His ways are right,
His word eternal
His will unchanging
And His mind is on us

He is our savior, our guide,
Our peace, our joy, our comfort
Our Lord and He rules our lives,

I serve Him because His bond is love
His yoke is easy His burden is light
And His goal for us is abundant life.

I follow Him because,
He Is the wisdom of the wise
The power of the powerful
The ancient of days, the ruler of rulers,
The leader of all leaders,
His goal is a relationship with me

He will never leave you, never forsake you
Never mislead you, never forget you,
Never overlook you and
Never cancel your appointment is His appointment book.

When you fall He’ll lift you up,
When you fail He will forgive you.
When you’re weak He’s strong,
When you’re lost He’s your way
When you’re afraid He is your courage,
When you stumble He will steady you,
When you’re hurt He Is going to heal you,
When you’re broken He will mend you,
When you’re blind He will lead you,
When you’re hungry He will feed you,
When you face trials He Is with you,
When I face persecution He shields me,
When I face problems He will comfort me,
When I face loss He will provide for me,

And when we face death
He will carry us all home to meet Him.

He is everything for everybody,
everywhere ,every time,
And in every way.

He is your God

and that sister’s is who you belong to.