10. Your daily books deals promote books about Pirates.
9. Your friends are dressed up in full Pirate garb and posting pictures on Facebook.
8. Your kids can't stay focused on schoolwork because they are trying
to figure out how to look like a pirate. They would rather grab black
construction paper and start cutting out multiple eye masks then do their math.
7. You forgo all afternoon plans to help said kiddos become pirates so
they can collect sugar booty. Surely you are parent of the
year...leading your children to the life of a pirate.
6. In order to do so, you must find out what YOU own that will help YOU become "parent of the year" pirate. Arggh!
5. You stop at a tiny island with cheap trinkets and treasures to
complete said costume. Then you get to share your new cheap piratey
things with someone else so they can collect sugar booty like you. (But
that's not really very piratey like.)
4. Your accent becomes thick and raspy and scurvy like, and you say things like "Ahoy Matey" and "Arrgggh" (Then later you might be corrected by your Captain, "Isn't scurvy a disease?" Well, whatever. The disease affects the mouth so you really can sound scurvy -like, but that's kind of gross to think about.)
3. You might call up a friend talking like a pirate and never give any indication that you are anything BUT said pirate. Then you wonder if they understood anything you said anyway, in your scurvy piratey voice.
2. You wonder if you'll ever get to try some of your friends special homemade Piratey Rum. Hmmm.
1. On the way home from collecting your sugar booty, you listen to
non-piratey music and your children sing along to the tunes, thereby
changing their personalities out of pirate hood for a moment,
until...the song says, "opened my eyes, let me see..." and your
youngest matey says, "I ONLY have ONE eye!!"
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